A couple of interesting articles
Some interesting articles I’ve read this spring.
First, this article from The NYTimes (thanks, Emily) about the futility of focusing on perfection when looking for a spouse. While the feel of the article is a bit pessimistic, I think they have an excellent point, even more applicable after marriage than before.
This article, because of a friend at church. Lucky me, I married a man who teaches me something new about kindness every day.
And on that note, an article from the Wall Street Journal on how stress decreases our empathy.
The boys are getting older, and it’s getting harder to tell stories about them without embarrassing them. We’ve all been shamed in public at some point, and we’ve all laughed in company at our own mistakes. The two scenarios are almost exactly alike, but we feel the difference. That difference being eye-contact. When we laugh at someone, we exclude them by making eye-contact with others, not them. When we laugh with someone, it is a personal moment we share with them. We make eye-contact directly with them, showing our empathy and understanding, and demonstrating we care enough to note and act on any discomfort or anger we might see.
Duh. Right? But seriously, if we are in a habit of laughing at people rather than with them, we teach our kids to be shamed by their mistakes rather than being slightly embarrassed. It’s okay to make mistakes; you could even say it’s their job. It’s how they learn. And not just kids. Shaming people for their mistakes teaches them to deny their mistakes rather than taking responsibility for them. We’ve all met and been frustrated by people who have never made a mistake, we’ve even been that person from time to time. We don’t want to encourage that lack of honesty in our kids.